I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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