Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
jump out the window naked night went bad
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