none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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