you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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