I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Randomize
