I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i think my cat just said my name.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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