We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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