god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
