Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
