K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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