Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.

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  (818): he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job. http://tfl.nu/gvx6
  Replies (9) Good night (957) Bad night (1355)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy

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  (248): just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy http://tfl.nu/dtdn
  Replies (17) Good night (5033) Bad night (556)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.

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  (618): Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it. http://tfl.nu/arfl
  Replies (73) Good night (4958) Bad night (905)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.

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  (724): btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die. http://tfl.nu/rrxi
  Replies (13) Good night (5987) Bad night (1024)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day

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  (703): Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day http://tfl.nu/hrk3
  Replies (8) Good night (9933) Bad night (1001)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Does it taste like semen?

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  (972): I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it. (214): Does it taste like semen? http://tfl.nu/qasv
  Replies (10) Good night (4375) Bad night (1527)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.

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  (+44): Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife. http://tfl.nu/3wb9
  Replies (11) Good night (862) Bad night (2372)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.

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  (862): Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving. http://tfl.nu/a5h0
  Replies (8) Good night (678) Bad night (1330)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.

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  (509): I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin. http://tfl.nu/0dob
  Replies (12) Good night (1208) Bad night (658)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.

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  (709): He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes. http://tfl.nu/6yst
  Replies (6) Good night (676) Bad night (834)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.

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  (708): Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator. http://tfl.nu/0mqk
  Replies (5) Good night (782) Bad night (373)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business

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  (269): Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business http://tfl.nu/b5lq
  Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (403)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!

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  (417): When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it! http://tfl.nu/b9cd
  Replies (2) Good night (830) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.

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  (850): I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss. http://tfl.nu/4u28
  Replies (9) Good night (476) Bad night (559)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.

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  (206): I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt. http://tfl.nu/fjy2
  Replies (1) Good night (726) Bad night (806)

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