Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.

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(518): View more from New York

I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.

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(815): View more from Illinois

at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...

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(812): View more from Indiana

It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome

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(775): View more from Nevada

she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much

(702): View more from Nevada

you puked ON HER

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(586): View more from Michigan

Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing

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