Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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