girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
this will be a night to untag.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize