weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
