He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
