I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
