is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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