Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
