So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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