I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
