I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
