I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
