He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
