I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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