Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
