fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
