Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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