grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
