I seem to have left my pride at pride
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
