Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
