From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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