shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
