I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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