I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
