Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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