then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
