Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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