I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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