You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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