i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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