Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
