Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
