god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
