I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
