This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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