He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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