I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
