Operation Purity has been aborted
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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