Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
only you would photoshop your dick
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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