i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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