well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
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I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
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dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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