Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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