dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
