When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize