Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
