I could have mohawked her pubes.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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