Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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