i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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