Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
