FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
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Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
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He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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