If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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