i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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