So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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