looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's never too late to be topless.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
