I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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