So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
